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Well, I'm going to start writing over here more. I need an outlet. I am going crazy.

I have been having what I call 'rolling panic attacks' lately. I cannot figure out what is triggering them, unless it is just stir crazy... idk. I feel like in am about to break any moment, everyday. Its been happening for 2 weeks, and I have a drs appointment in a few, I guess I'll bring it up when I go in. Sigh.

I've also been extra antisocial. And lazy... sigh... I think we can all see where this is heading. I need to break the cycle before I head back down depression road.

My car is finally going into the shop this week... smthing is wrong with the transmission and it has been sitting in the driveway for the last month... maybe even month and a half. First we had to save up enough to pay for the worst case (new tranny....) then I had to talk b into calling the mechanic for me. More proof my broken is showing though more than normal. I just couldn't handke calling them. It was terrifying times 10.

Hope hope hope they can fix it quickly so I can go see my sister and family. After all the drs appointments I have lined up....

Ean, out of the blue the otherday , showed me how he has a weird bod and he does indeed... the right hand side of his ribs/chest is normal, the left is flat, like nearly concave. :/ waiting for a drs appointment to open up or mid aug to figure out wtf that is all about.....

B has been away since may. Sigh.

Sigh Forever,
Chancie Downer